Sext: Ennui

I slowly remove my need to be liked, and drop it next to the pulsing dread of my undesirability

Gripping our desire to be elsewhere tightly, I kiss your fantasy of yourself

Gently allowing you to become the mirror for my self loathing, I caress your rejection of reality with my need to belittle

My ennui strokes passively against your disappointment

“I need you to unsettle me with your violently hard anguish, I need to feel it deep inside me”

Helplessly, I recall a minor abandonment

I straddle your preoccupation, my overthinking hanging down clumsily, dark and swollen.

Your self immolation is choking me, I shudder misanthropically

Trembling, I insert my violent lack of interest into your fetishisation of failure

I gasp harder as the slippery meaninglessness of this pushes past my detachment

A trembling horror of embodiment glistens wetly in my hand

Dissociatingly foggy embarrassments gloat up my spine

 

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