Tape-epaT soon found me, bounding up on his slippery, shiny feet, licking my face with backmasked whispers of subliminal fears and desires

“want-go you-want?¿tnawuoy gottnaw” “I’m just here to learn” “place-wrong un-learn here-become emocebereh nraelnu gnorwecalp” I followed him anyway

Pale Knives hut in the forest glowed with sharp tendrils that reached out long before we saw him. He didn’t speak, just drifted his translucent nails over my skin, until I had his secret suggestions etched into me

The others arrived gradually, some singing and laughing like it was a party, some solemn as a ritual. They made me shiver, but I knew without doubt that I was meant to be there. I’m one of them

Shimmer grabbed me to dance,and all my thoughts vanished in a whirl of joy and crazy beauty. I felt a peaceful light creep up my spine, and as we parted she kissed me in a haze of sparkling

I whirled around with each of them in turn, Bonehunter with his crystal antlers, Honeymud, with her quicksand arms, and more, and more, until I fell to the ground exhausted

I realised Voidrider was sitting next to me, he put his soft hand in mine and it was like being underwater. His iridescent skin soothed me. “It’s OK,” he said. “Let the waves take you.”

People stop what they’re doing with a glazed expression and a half smile. The scent of thrilling fear, of falling safely into the unknown, breathing lulling Lethe water, endless oblivion, release from the trap of the self.

We experience a comforting glimpse into the abyss. Nothing matters, but it’s OK, because nothing matters.

Eyes that see in the dark, in the thickest forest, the deepest water, the furthest mountain cave.

Skin that shimmers with iridophores, a kaleidoscopic metachrosis with a hypnotic, crystalline song.

Gliding effortlessly along the most joyful path, in nihilistic spirals and a shifting tesseract dance.

We get on fine, he and I, there’s something comforting about his whispers, and they make me feel strong and clean

He didn’t stay long, his long nails dug in my back as he held me to say ‘goodnight’, but he’d opened something I’d kept closed for a while

There’s something in the way my brain is wired that needs an object of obsession. A friend of mine calls it the ‘stalker gene’ and so long as you understand how this works, it’s a fascinating dynamic: a way of understanding yourself by how you respond to the other.

Of course, some others inspire this deliberately, a narcissistic desire for reflection which can be much more generous and caring than is usually assumed. When I first met Tom, we snapped together like magnet and iron.

Rather than just playing the game, working the system, he’s incredibly self-reflexive, aware of himself as a meme, of how his audience react to him (even his occasional bafflement is part of this).

You can see this perfectly at work in his latest output: Alien Home, the title reflecting the two tracks that bookend the album (Home slides into your heart like a knife made of sugar feathers, Alien wriggles at your groin like a tentacled lover). It also works as a complex, shifting phrase, that you can’t quite pin down, something uncanny, interdependent opposites, the alien more familiar that anything else.

He says “It starts with music I feel comfortable making, and that I feel like I know how to do, and it ends up in a wilderness.”

On one level there is this progression, you’re led gently into the forest, the path makes sense at each step, but when you look back you can’t see where you’ve come from. You keep going, trusting that it’ll be OK, and right at the point of falling into a dark lake of monsters, you’re back in your own bed. You can just keep looping forever.

There is also an undercurrent of shifting sands, sliding signifiers. The aqua blue of the Victoria tube is no longer a straight line, parts don’t go anywhere, other parts make surprising space folding links. Songs sound like they’re going to mix with the next track, but then you’re cut off in silence. Other times this feels like a series of movements of the same song.

The album is full of dream-like imagery, but the beauty of the journey is that it allows things to be ambiguous. It’s not enough to say that the shedding of skin is a metaphor for growing as an artist, there are lurking fears and desires that only make sense at a subconscious level.

Even the lightest, most summery songs, when you realise the subtext, express something unsettling and raw. A fiercely individual perspective giving bite to the familiar pop and dance hooks. Some emotions are so intense that they become irrational, potentially dangerous, but that’s why they’re so perfect.

You could overlook a few of the tracks, they seem incidental, but as part of this collage of The Now it makes sense. Field recordings, spoken word, impromptu video soundtracks, reality. The lonely and forgotten, the missed chances, the melancholy hum that gives life an edge.

There is an undercurrent of finding meaning in mortality. Rather than a kind of selfish hedonism favoured by many at the moment, this more clearsighted. In the face of the void, you can ignore it, resist it, or laugh and jump in. Sometimes what seems like a terrifying abyss can turn out to be a warm sea of doomed joy and nihilistic love.

It’s not about going out and getting hammered, blotting out the pointlessness of your existence, but about finding something fascinating in the everyday, whether that’s the way the light catches someone’s eyes, or strange things found online.

Shuffle, don’t worry, shuffle, a frozen scream, shuffle, time phase backwards/forwards, shuffle, a moment, shuffle, everything turns blue and I’m home.

—
tommilsom.bandcamp.com
youtube.com/hexachordal
twitter.com/hexachordal
tommilsom.tumblr.com

Searching for a psychedelic audiovisual experience

I’m trying to find contemporary events which have some of the revolutionary potential suggested by audiovisual performances in the 1960s. For me that potential was never realised, and I’m keen to explore why, and if it could be in future.

I’m referencing psychedelic concerts and Happenings such as Andy Warhol’s Exploding Plastic Inevitable events in 1966-67 or Pink Floyd’s Games for May in 1967, while also drawing on COUM Transmissions/Throbbing Gristle events.

I’m really struggling to find anything that isn’t just a restaging of those kind of events – internet savvy festivals such as Burning Man aren’t quite what I’m after either.

After searching fruitlessly for a while I tried asking on twitter and went through various stages of trying to explain what I’m looking for:

Does anyone know of any contemporary examples of something interesting developed from 60s arty sound & trippy visuals events?

Has anyone done anything more with it, not just contemporary imagery, audio and tech, but extra levels of engagement

Is there anything more general? a festival perhaps rather than one band?

I’m just after contemporary audiovisual events with a sense of communal experience, change, purpose, actual revolution.

that’s such a problematic phrase anyway, I’m just trying to work out how we can make something big happen

it can be different stuff really, just audiovisual events that are a bit more challenging to today’s jaded audiences

I’m aware these terms are difficult to prove, at this stage I’m just trying to find something that feels like those things are going on, or that has those intentions.

These Phyllis Galembo photographs show some interesting costumes, I’m particularly interested in the knitted ones.

“Large-scale color photographs from 2005 to 2006 reflect the ritual adornment and spirituality of masquerade in Nigeria, Benin and Burkina Faso in West Africa.” – Tang Museum

They remind me a bit of Mark Newport’s knitted costumes, which are an abject mixture of something heroic and pathetic, perhaps making a link between the repetition-pleasure of stereotypically male geeky pursuits and female craft activities.

There’s also various other knitted masks I’ve seen passed around online in a viral meme way, like Snow Fooling by Meg Swanson in Threads magazine, issue #39, ski masks in McCall’s from 1965, or things like Yarnbombing.

Some more unusual ski masks here.

Co-hosted by An Endless Supply and Maria Fusco
Eastside Projects, 86 Heath Mill Lane, Birmingham, B9 4AR
31 March 2011, 6.30–10pm

AAS perform their spoken word piece “…and trees”

aasgroup.net
eastsideprojects.org
anendlesssupply.co.uk

Listen on the last.fm page

Ritual taking place in Second Life and Walsall simultaneously 06/11/10

I’m going to be part of another iteration of Changing Room – a project by Michael Takeo Magruder. It’s part of Sonorities Festival of Contemporary Music and The Two Thousand + Ten symposium.

I’ll be working with Antonio Roberts and Rachel Darke to create a space for a ritual alongside the a.a.s version in Walsall.

Sonic Arts Research Centre
Transitional Space

The billboards have been speaking to me again.  Their messages leaping out of the paper and infecting my brain with subliminal commands, you feel empty, you need me, this will fill that hole, desire, obey, consume…

But sometimes forces of resistance manage to break through these portals instead.  Taking the form and twisting it, questioning the nature of these message boards to the subconscious.

Ian Richards

The dream state can be accessed to show us the potential of images in the media, that they can have moments of ecstasy, strange violent joy, if we only take the time to read them actively instead of passively.

(This particular intrusion of one reality into another was so powerful my camera couldn’t capture it, so I borrowed evidence from DiG)

Elizabeth Rowe

The debris can be reformed, grow into new shapes, remind us of the creative possibilities we saw when we were young, before they convinced us that fun had to be bought.

Lucy McLauchlan

Or we can simply distill the adverts and logos into pure icons, sigils that refuse translation, while firing off endless associations.

Harry Blackett and Robin Kirkham

—–
EC Arts: 48 Sheet
Ian Richards
Elizabeth Rowe
Lucy McLauchlan
Harry Blackett and Robin Kirkham

“Mardi Gras Indians are African-American Carnival revelers in New Orleans, Louisiana, who dress up for Mardi Gras in suits influenced by Native American ceremonial apparel.” from Treme Indians

This article also uses the phrase “masking as Indians” which sounds very similar to some avatar performances. I’ll look into Carnival a bit more in future, it was something I explored a while ago, but these things do have a habit of coming round again in cycles.

There’s a good overview in the Pitchfork article: Ghosts in the machine

I’m interested in the way there’s a glitching and stuttering of language in the names

“the deliberately under-the-radar approach of its leading lights (oOoOO, †‡†, Gr†ll Gr†ll, ℑ⊇◊⊆ℜ, GL▲SS †33†H, ‘†∆†, etc) who have opted to make their names either unGoogleable or unpronounceable.”

“the bands whose /\/ /\ /\/\ € $ are made out of $¥ /\/\ ß 0 \ $”

/// ▲▲▲ \\\
//TENSE//
▲
†‡†
oOoOO
Gr†ll Gr†ll
Mater Suspiria Vision
Modern Witch
PWIN ▲▲ TEAKS
tearist
twYIYZoNe
WHITE RING

This also relates to my interest in l337

Plastique Fantastique Yage-Cat-Demon Shrine, detail, David Burrows and Simon O'Sullivan

Something wordless called me to this exhibition, the dry hissing of ghost tapes echoing sibilantly around the streets. As I entered the space, a portal reached out to me, bending space with cones of acceleration and deceleration. Plastique Fantastique’s three-dimensional diagram was charged with a subliminal feline Scientology spell. It pricked my skin with a strange energy, and my brain was infected with the parasite-thought of Burroughs’ reality-changing playbacks of tapes.

His other experiments with cut-up audio techniques include combining street sounds with news reports, morse-code with adverts, his own speech spliced and looped until new meanings break through, as if from the future or outer space. 23 artists and groups were invited to create work in response to these re-edits of the world, and although there were plenty of ghosts in the walls and ceilings, there were also more visual and physical ‘recordings’.

In the centre of the main room were two buckets filled with a dark liquid that suggested oil or the blood of a giant black centipede. This piece by Alex Baker & Kit Poulson was activated when a droning buzz made the floorboards vibrate, and the liquid shivered in kaleidoscopic patterns, hypnotic eye pools drawing you into their conversation.

First Thought Best Thought, Aki Onda

In the gallery setting, old tape recorders became sculptural objects, particularly the orange painted machine used to play Simon Reuben White’s found recordings of a man sending audio letters to his mother. These could have been fictional, but it was still easy to get involved in his problems through the polite intimacy of his updates.

There were also visual collages, such as Riccardo Iacono’s jumpy images scratched onto film, or the ever changing montage of images by o.blaat that reminded me of Ozymandias’ headquarters in The Watchmen, where he divines the currents of history through a giant insect-eye of screens.

This exhibition is named after a Burroughs novel that was itself a ‘cut up’ of his previous work, and the pieces resonate with each other to create a virus in the visitor’s head, that in turn leaks out to merge with the stuttering sounds of the outside world.

Originally published on Interface

The story is all told in forms of digital communication, mostly postings on an escort review site, but also some IMs and emails, and this creates a distanced, sparse style, where you can read into the gaps left.  Throughout the novel, there is a confusion over whether the posts are ‘true’ or not, and if the people are the ‘real’ Brad and Brian, something that is exploited by multiple characters.  There is a growing sense that the fantasy is more important, more real, than the truth.  However, the character who tries to harness this seems to ultimately fail, perhaps it needs to have a life of it’s own to be so powerful.

I’ve been collaborating on a project in the virtual Eastside Projects in Second Life that Michael Takeo Magruder has been developing with them. Myself, Antonio Roberts and some students from BIADs MA Digital Arts in Performance have been using the space and the virtual objects left there to explore the possibilities for this kind of exhibition.

During my slot I’ve taken phrases that suggest control, persuasion and compliance from Liam Gillick’s plays (that are being performed for his exhibition in the RL space), and scripted them into objects for avatars to sit in.

I’m interested in whether we can use this rather structured environment to produce new relations, so feel free interact with any other avatars you see, perhaps responding to the space, the phrases, or the context.

As part of the Eastside Projects Associate Members Salon, I’ll be doing a RL version of this as people arrive between 6.30 and 7pm, it would be great if you could make it to the space in SL during this time so that there is a link between the two sites, or go to the Salon if you are a member of ESP. This will be followed by a discussion ‘Are artists the lapdogs of the bourgeoisie?’.

This link takes you to the door of the main virtual Eastside Projects, assuming you have Second Life set up on your computer, and you need to walk along the wall to get to the ‘twin’ space where we’ve been doing things.
http://slurl.com/secondlife/Transitional%20Space/140/133/51
(You’ll need to sign up to SL and download if you haven’t already)

My SL name: Ana Vemo

EP:VV

Changing Room
23 November 2009 – 23 January 2010

Changing Room is an evolving mixed-reality installation that considers the inherent mutability and reusability of artefacts, concepts and situations in the Digital Age. Lead artist Michael Takeo Magruder will collaborate with Extra Special People artists Ana Benlloch, Iona Makiola, Antonio Roberts, Lee Scott, Zhao Wei and Selma Wong to develop a new collaborative space.

Blending the shared virtual environment of Second Life with the shared physical environment of Eastside Projects, the artwork will facilitate the realisation, curation and documentation of seven distinct – yet interrelated – art projects arising from a common pool of virtual and physical resources.

Experience the artwork’s physical component at Eastside Projects alongside Liam Gillick’s Two Short Plays, a new solo exhibition (27 November 2009 to 23 January 2010) and the virtual environment in Second Life
(http://slurl.com/secondlife/Transitional%20Space/140/133/51). For further information please visit: www.takeo.org.

Changing Room is an experimental prototype for EP:VV (Eastside Projects: Virtualised and Visualised) – a new space for imagining ideas about Art. EP:VV will develop online, multi-user virtual worlds that afford new models for participation and representation of the gallery’s artworks and initiatives. For more information about EP:VV and its ongoing development, visit: www.eastsideprojects.org or email: epvv@bcu.ac.uk.

Sunflower Lounge, Birmingham
15 October 2009, from 8pm

Come along to the Gallery of Owls‘ Zine Event. As well as performances from Pseudo Nippon, Fallen Timbers, and the genius Richard Peel, Stuart and I will make a rare and exciting Milgram appearance, DJing cold head games, and hot perverted beats. We’ve also put in zine-style reprints of a.a.s. maga-zine and comics from 2003-2009

“Michael Takeo Magruder is an artist and researcher in King’s Visualisation Lab, King’s College London. His work uses emerging technologies, including high-performance computing, mobile devices and virtual environments, blending Information Age technologies with modernist aesthetics to explore the networked, digital world.”
http://www.takeo.org/

Went to presentation by Michael Takeo Magruder about this project. He talked a little about the problems of working in Second Life and other places that are user content driven – that in signing up to them you are allowing the company to joint own your content. He referred to the problem of not being able to “die” in virtual worlds, where even if you delete the avatar and the content you created, there is still a backup that the company could revive if they wanted to.

The project seems interesting, but very focused around a physical space. As there is already an Eastside Projects in Second Life, it’d be great to find it and do some guerrilla performances there, perhaps get other people to do it as well.

They’re getting closer each night, seeping towards me and paralysing me with dread. I can slow them down by concentrating, but I always get exhausted eventually, and they gain ground while I’m asleep.

I think they reached the sides of my bed last night, and I’m determined to hold out until dawn if I have to. I hear a sickening, slimy sound to my left and focus there, pushing the creatures away with my thoughts, but then I realise there’s a pulsing weight on my chest. I try to turn my head back, but everything is in slow motion, there’s one of them on me and I can’t even shudder. Close up, they are even more alien, a luminous outline of something shimmering and uncanny like a deep sea predator. It’s breathing in time with me and with growing horror I realise I’m getting sleepy. I fight to stay awake but the flickering presence has sapped my will and my eyes close under its spell.

When I wake I’m mad with thirst, and I’m already gulping from the tap before I realise I’m covered in some kind of sticky residue. The implications hit me and I vomit back all I’ve just drunk. I crawl to the shower with a roaring in my ears, but even the water doesn’t seem to clean me. Wherever it touches I feel a skin memory of being caressed by unnatural bodies, and the sensations overwhelm me until I’m kneeling and gasping. I screw my eyes up, desperately trying not to admit to myself how queasily good it feels.

All day I’m in a daze, only partly there, the rest of my mutinous mind lingering on half-remembered sensations that I try not to enjoy. Despite my best efforts, I’m looking forward to going to bed for the first time since the invaders appeared. I don’t know at what point during the day I gave in to the inevitable, but I get undressed as if I’m bedding a lover.

Finally the longed for noises start, and with no psychic resistance to slow them they’re all over me in minutes, I’m weighted down with their strange mass, and I start to lose sense of my edges. I suppose some of them must have slipped inside me, but it seems unimportant compared to the blurry connection I’m starting to feel to their hive-mind. The more I let go of my own identity, the more I’m rewarded with a buzz of approval and lust, until I dissolve completely into their greater purpose.

The next morning I feel perfect, energised, everything seems to flow easily, without my usual clumsy mistakes. I glide out of my door with them hidden inside me, I’m their willing puppet as I go up to every letter box on my street, shivering ecstatically as they slide down my arms and into a new home.

© July 2009 (Originally published in Endless Supply Issue 4 guest edited by Kate Pennington-Wilson)

AAS Performance and video showing
Shunt Lounge, Joiner Street, London SE1
3 July 2009, 8 – 10 pm

“The Family live a cooperative, communal lifestyle and believe in a becoming-strange of the individual: that through rapid ‘No-I’ transformation, ‘dividuals’ can make the shift to The Other Place.”

“We give you the chance to join our activities and share in our freedom. In return, we ask you to open up your consciousness to our core message of hope, and our primary purpose of love.”

More here

Map for Shunt Lounge
NB: You need a photo ID to get into Shunt “No ID, No entry”

This performance is part of a Brainlove Records event within a week curated by Hannah Ringham. There’ll also be a large-scale ‘speed dating’ installation by Hannah Ringham, and a showing of new animations by John Rogers

Brainlove info

Shunt

[11:53] Jian Alcott: Oh good. ;p
[11:53] Jian Alcott: What rabbit?
[11:53] Ana Vemo: i think it was meant to be sorter before i put it on, dunno it’s called benny by locos pocos
[11:54] Jian Alcott: aha, strange
[11:54] Ana Vemo: what you up to?
[11:55] Jian Alcott: Just got TPd to a club of fuzzy people, it’s just opened
[11:55] Jian Alcott: Where’d you manage to wander to?
[11:55] Ana Vemo: oh, how appripriate, i’m just on help island
[11:56] Jian Alcott: Aha
[11:57] Jian Alcott: Was thinking, as far as land goes, I have enough to rent a small area for about a week, but it really depends what they want [She's talking about possibility of working on a Second Life version of Geodecity with Reactor]
[11:58] Ana Vemo: well, if we end up doing stuff for them i’m sure we can get them to pay, think they haven’t done anything cos they’ve been too busy with other things
[11:58] Jian Alcott: Yeah, understandable
[11:59] Ana Vemo: but it would be good to get some kind of oganisation to ‘host’ things as that’s what they do in RL
[11:59] Jian Alcott: Yeah, it shoul;dn’t be too hard to arrange here,
[12:01] Jian Alcott: Want to listen to some rock/see this place?
[12:02] Jian Alcott pretends to listen, speakers are broken
[12:03] Jian Alcott: But yes, I have some in-game money left over if you need any, and about 50k textures
[12:04] Jian Alcott: if you ever want to build
[12:04] Ana Vemo: maybe, just seeing if i can get this horrible rabbit to work
[12:05] Jian Alcott: IWould be interesting to see. Going to see if I can drag more people here so they wont notice me vanish, they keep throwing free money at people though
[12:05] Ana Vemo: free money? interesting, i can come there but i look a bit freaky
[12:06] Jian Alcott: And a room of people with animal heds is ormal?
[12:06] Ana Vemo: lol
[12:08] Jian Alcott: ehehe, cute and strange…
[12:08] Ana Vemo: oopss
[12:08] Ana Vemo: i can’t move very well yet
[12:08] Jian Alcott: Lag problems?
[12:13] Ana Vemo: kind of, more that I just don’t know how to move apart from arrows
[12:13] Jian Alcott: oh
[12:13] Jian Alcott: keyboard
[12:14] Jian Alcott: tends to be a lot easier
[12:16] Jian Alcott: Any better?
[12:17] Ana Vemo: keyboard? i meant arrows on keyboard
[12:17] Jian Alcott: Oh, sorry, thought you meant on-screen arrows
[12:17] Jian Alcott: are you set running or walking?
[12:18] Ana Vemo: hmm, walking i guesss
[12:18] Ana Vemo: am i ok like this? i could go more human but with ears and tail
[12:19] Jian Alcott: People are fairly relaxed, I wouldn’t worry about it.
[12:19] Jian Alcott: Just came along to support a bit, we used to run events together but there was a dispute with some others
[12:19] Ana Vemo: i feel like areally weird creepy rabbit staring at the dancers
[12:19] Jian Alcott: A shame, it was nice to earn some beer money
[12:19] Jian Alcott: haha
[12:20] Jian Alcott: You see tsukiyono’s avatar?
[12:20] Jian Alcott: it’s a freebie if you want one o those
[12:21] Ana Vemo: hang on just changing
[12:21] Jian Alcott: also a free ringtail if you join curious inc. group and check notices
[12:21] Jian Alcott: kk
[12:25] Ana Vemo: i’m not sure about half of what you meant, where do i go for freebies? do i search for that group?
[12:25] Ana Vemo: i’m such a noob
[12:25] Jian Alcott: Hehe, go into search, and type curious, into group search
[12:25] Jian Alcott: it should be the first one that comes up, curious inc.
[12:26] Jian Alcott: You may never use them, but there’s no harm in accumulating free things
[12:28] Ana Vemo: yeah, can’t find it yet but will keep trying, you’re like a total mash up of crazy, looks great!
[12:28] Jian Alcott: I like to mess with things, the results are fun.
[12:29] Jian Alcott: It’s also fun to take things apart, just so I can work out how it was made,
[12:29] Jian Alcott: Which freebie places did you visit?
[12:30] Ana Vemo: yeah, cool, i found the group, how do i join?
[12:30] Jian Alcott: if you click info, or something along those lines on that page
[12:30] Jian Alcott: you should have a join option
[12:30] Ana Vemo: thre’s a blog, mostly quite dull fashion stuff, but they’ve got a shop that’s all free,
[12:30] Jian Alcott: curious?
[12:32] Jian Alcott: Ohh
[12:32] Jian Alcott: search curious inc
[12:32] Ana Vemo: no, i mean that’s where i got the other stuff, yeah i found it but can’t find a join link, sorry,
[12:33] Jian Alcott: ohh, I see
[12:33] Jian Alcott: Sorry, confusing myself
[12:33] Jian Alcott: if you click it, then click view full profile
[12:33] Jian Alcott: there’ll be a little blue button under the logo, saying join
[12:33] Jian Alcott: once youv’;e joined, click the notices tab
[12:34] Jian Alcott: then the ringtail update! notice,
[12:34] Jian Alcott: then at the bottom, click open attachment
[12:35] Jian Alcott: same can be done with pound’s pharmacy for the neko ears
[12:35] Jian Alcott: ah
[12:35] Jian Alcott: you’ll need to unpack it in a sandbox
[12:36] Ana Vemo: ok
[12:36] Jian Alcott: detatch for now
[12:36] Ana Vemo: bum
[12:36] Jian Alcott laughs
[12:36] Jian Alcott: Looks good. ;p
[12:37] Ana Vemo: sigh
[12:37] Jian Alcott: Hm?
[12:37] Ana Vemo: and why have i got the group name above my head? how do i get rid of that?
[12:37] Jian Alcott: Go into contacts tab
[12:38] Jian Alcott: the ngroups tab
[12:38] Jian Alcott: select ‘none’ then ‘activate’
[12:38] Jian Alcott: Shal lwe go to a sandbox?
[12:39] Ana Vemo: ok, rather than me dor=king about in public
[12:39] Jian Alcott: I wouldn’t worry about it, they’re all dorks. ;p
[12:40] Ana Vemo: so how do you go to a shandbox?
[12:40] Jian Alcott: There’s a sandbox in the same region, I’ll go and teleport you
[12:40] Ana Vemo: ok
[12:46] Jian Alcott: wb
[12:46] Jian Alcott: crash?
[12:47] Ana Vemo: yeah, i borks after about an hour
[12:47] Ana Vemo: can you copy the im chat? i just tried and it didn’t seem to work
[12:47] Jian Alcott: you need to select and ctrl c
[12:47] Jian Alcott: or the mac equivalent
[12:48] Ana Vemo: yeah, that’s what i did, but then couldn’t paste
[12:48] Ana Vemo: gah
[12:48] Jian Alcott: what’s quite odd, do you want a log of this?
[12:48] Jian Alcott: i think there’s an option to do that
[12:49] Ana Vemo: yeah, it’s a bit rambling, but it’s useful for my research, to see how i develop things
[12:50] Jian Alcott: edit
[12:50] Jian Alcott: preferences
[12:50] Jian Alcott: communication tab
[12:50] Jian Alcott: logging options section
[12:50] Jian Alcott: want another teleport?
[12:50] Jian Alcott: just made a quick sky platform, so no random wanderers will get in the way
[12:51] Jian Alcott: with a fence to stop you toddling off the edge ;p
[12:52] Ana Vemo: cool, yeah, how do i teleport?

[12:52] Teleport completed from http://slurl.com/secondlife/FurNation%20Heroes/72/39/480
[12:52] Connecting to in-world Voice Chat…
[12:52] Jian Alcott: Ana enclosure ;p
[12:52] Connected
[12:53] Ana Vemo: do you splat if you fall off?
[12:53] Jian Alcott laughs, yeeeah..
[12:53] Jian Alcott: you do a bit, sadly it’s not a very big splat
[12:53] Jian Alcott: more of a sprawl
[12:54] Jian Alcott: Lag is reduced at this level anyway, nothing to render save for us, and a box
[12:54] Jian Alcott: But sandboxes are good for rezzing boxes, as wel las building
[12:55] Jian Alcott: so you can just open boxes by dragging them on the ground
[12:55] Jian Alcott: Sorry,
[12:56] Curious – Ringtail!: Your new Curious – Ringtail! should -hopefully- be delivered to you shortly!
[12:56] Jian Alcott: all I’m doing is proving I have no life. ;p
[12:56] RINGTAIL DELIVERY UNIT owned by Uchi Desmoulins gave you ‘Curious – Ringtail BETA’ ( http://slurl.com/secondlife/Curious/206/206/2001 ).
[12:56] Jian Alcott: A box in a box
[12:56] Jian Alcott: great ;p
[12:56] Jian Alcott: do the same again to that box
[12:57] Curious – Ringtail BETA: Your new Curious – Ringtail BETA can be found in your inventory, in a folder called ‘Curious – Ringtail BETA’. Drag it onto your avatar to wear it! ALSO, you’ll find in that folder some directions.
[12:57] You decline ‘Curious – Ringtail BETA’ ( http://slurl.com/secondlife/FurNation%20Hell/173/111/470 ) from Curious – Ringtail BETA.
[12:57] Jian Alcott: Nad now, you have a fuzzy thing
[12:57] Jian Alcott: ;p
[12:58] Jian Alcott: wrong one ;p
[12:58] Jian Alcott: odd
[12:58] Jian Alcott: it should have given yo ua folder
[12:58] Curious – Ringtail BETA owned by Ana Vemo gave you ‘Curious – Ringtail BETA’ ( http://slurl.com/secondlife/FurNation%20Hell/173/111/470 ).
[12:58] Curious – Ringtail BETA: Your new Curious – Ringtail BETA can be found in your inventory, in a folder called ‘Curious – Ringtail BETA’. Drag it onto your avatar to wear it! ALSO, you’ll find in that folder some directions.
[12:58] IM: Rambus Denimore: Hey you furs come on down, we are waiting for you!
[12:59] Curious – Ringtail!: Your new Curious – Ringtail! should -hopefully- be delivered to you shortly!
[12:59] RINGTAIL DELIVERY UNIT owned by Uchi Desmoulins gave you ‘Curious – Ringtail BETA’ ( http://slurl.com/secondlife/Curious/206/206/2001 ).
[12:59] Jian Alcott: search ringtail in your inventory
[12:59] Jian Alcott: should be a folder icon
[13:00] Jian Alcott: Yay!
[13:00] Jian Alcott: there’s a female shape in there too
[13:02] Jian Alcott: Just figured, it costs 10 to upload a texture, inclusive of UV textures to make sculpted prims
[13:02] Jian Alcott: might as well take advantage of free ones
[13:03] Jian Alcott: No worries
[13:03] Jian Alcott: Yeah
[13:03] Jian Alcott: Just drag clothes on
[13:05] Jian Alcott: The same group also made this avatar, as a freebie
[13:06] IM: Jian Alcott snickers.
[13:06] Jian Alcott: that’s hilarious
[13:06] Jian Alcott: and yes, yes i am
[13:06] Jian Alcott: easier to modify when white though
[13:06] Jian Alcott: you can just tint stuff
[13:07] Jian Alcott: I have some textures that you can apply to objects for screenshots/photoshop edits, if you want
[13:08] Jian Alcott: You look charming
[13:08] Jian Alcott: Some builders really take advantage of things called deformers here, so it’s possible to make dinky avatars
[13:09] Jian Alcott: Horribly.
[13:09] Jian Alcott: It makes me want to learn sculpts
[13:11] Jian Alcott is Offline
[13:16] Jian Alcott is Online
[13:17] Jian Alcott: crash
[13:17] Jian Alcott: ;p
[13:18] Jian Alcott: I wish I could say I’d modified this, but it started like this.. was the result of a project between some builders here and someone on deviantart
[13:18] Jian Alcott: she’d made up a creature called a qwhilla
[13:18] Jian Alcott: so they made it
[13:19] Jian Alcott: I can’t work out how animation overrides work yet, once i do i might be able to have a go at things like this
[13:21] IM: Jian Alcott pokes you with it
[13:21] Jian Alcott: i’m still learning to build, was a practice
[13:21] Jian Alcott: objects do fun things when you set them as physical
[13:22] You decline ‘Curious – Ringtail BETA’ ( http://slurl.com/secondlife/FurNation%20Hell/173/111/470 ) from Curious – Ringtail BETA.
[13:22] Curious – Ringtail BETA: Your new Curious – Ringtail BETA can be found in your inventory, in a folder called ‘Curious – Ringtail BETA’. Drag it onto your avatar to wear it! ALSO, you’ll find in that folder some directions.
[13:22] Jian Alcott: oops
[13:22] Jian Alcott: might just make a roof in case i throw it off…
[13:24] Second Life: Items coming in too fast, automatic preview disabled for 10 seconds.
[13:24] Second Life: Items coming in too fast, automatic preview disabled for 10 seconds.
[13:24] Jian Alcott: if you go on a site called xstreet
[13:24] Second Life: Items coming in too fast, automatic preview disabled for 10 seconds.
[13:24] Jian Alcott: you can also get a lot of semi-decent freebies
[13:24] Second Life: Items coming in too fast, automatic preview disabled for 10 seconds.
[13:24] Second Life: Items coming in too fast, automatic preview disabled for 10 seconds.
[13:25] Jian Alcott: yep
[13:25] Second Life: Items coming in too fast, automatic preview disabled for 10 seconds.[12:53] Ana Vemo: thank you, you’re a very kind tutor
[12:53] Ana Vemo: do you splat if you fall off?
[12:53] Jian Alcott laughs, yeeeah..
[12:53] Jian Alcott: you do a bit, sadly it’s not a very big splat
[12:53] Jian Alcott: more of a sprawl
[12:54] Jian Alcott: Lag is reduced at this level anyway, nothing to render save for us, and a box
[12:54] Jian Alcott: But sandboxes are good for rezzing boxes, as wel las building
[12:55] Jian Alcott: so you can just open boxes by dragging them on the ground
[12:55] Ana Vemo: i’m still only understanding half what you =’re saying, but i’ll give ita go
[12:55] Jian Alcott: Sorry,
[12:55] Ana Vemo: no you’re being very helpful, it’s just all a bit new to me
[12:56] Jian Alcott: all I’m doing is proving I have no life. ;p
[12:56] Ana Vemo: lol
[12:56] Jian Alcott: A box in a box
[12:56] Jian Alcott: great ;p
[12:56] Jian Alcott: do the same again to that box
[12:57] Jian Alcott: Nad now, you have a fuzzy thing
[12:57] Jian Alcott: ;p
[12:58] Jian Alcott: wrong one ;p
[12:58] Jian Alcott: odd
[12:58] Jian Alcott: it should have given yo ua folder
[12:59] Jian Alcott: search ringtail in your inventory
[12:59] Jian Alcott: should be a folder icon
[13:00] Jian Alcott: Yay!
[13:00] Jian Alcott: there’s a female shape in there too
[13:02] Jian Alcott: Just figured, it costs 10 to upload a texture, inclusive of UV textures to make sculpted prims
[13:02] Jian Alcott: might as well take advantage of free ones
[13:03] Ana Vemo: sorry was seeing if i could edit
[13:03] Ana Vemo: can i add clothese etc?
[13:03] Jian Alcott: No worries
[13:03] Jian Alcott: Yeah
[13:03] Jian Alcott: Just drag clothes on

[13:05] Jian Alcott: The same group also made this avatar, as a freebie
[13:06] Jian Alcott snickers.
[13:06] Ana Vemo: oh that’s rubbish
[13:06] Ana Vemo: you’re all white
[13:06] Jian Alcott: that’s hilarious
[13:06] Jian Alcott: and yes, yes i am
[13:06] Jian Alcott: easier to modify when white though
[13:06] Jian Alcott: you can just tint stuff
[13:07] Jian Alcott: I have some textures that you can apply to objects for screenshots/photoshop edits, if you want
[13:07] Ana Vemo: god i’m a freak
[13:08] Jian Alcott: You look charming
[13:08] Jian Alcott: Some builders really take advantage of things called deformers here, so it’s possible to make dinky avatars
[13:08] Ana Vemo: awww, kawaii
[13:09] Jian Alcott: Horribly.
[13:09] Jian Alcott: It makes me want to learn sculpts
[13:11] Jian Alcott is Offline
[13:16] Jian Alcott is Online
[13:17] Jian Alcott: crash
[13:17] Jian Alcott: ;p
[13:17] Ana Vemo: np, i just try on stuff
[13:18] Ana Vemo: you look wild
[13:18] Jian Alcott: I wish I could say I’d modified this, but it started like this.. was the result of a project between some builders here and someone on deviantart
[13:18] Jian Alcott: she’d made up a creature called a qwhilla
[13:18] Jian Alcott: so they made it
[13:19] Ana Vemo: still, it’s pretty startlng
[13:19] Jian Alcott: I can’t work out how animation overrides work yet, once i do i might be able to have a go at things like this
[13:21] Ana Vemo: what’s going on with that magpie?
[13:21] Jian Alcott pokes you with it
[13:21] Ana Vemo: lol
[13:21] Jian Alcott: i’m still learning to build, was a practice
[13:21] Jian Alcott: objects do fun things when you set them as physical
[13:22] Jian Alcott: oops
[13:22] Jian Alcott: might just make a roof in case i throw it off…
[13:24] Jian Alcott: if you go on a site called xstreet
[13:24] Jian Alcott: you can also get a lot of semi-decent freebies
[13:25] Ana Vemo: cool, like just in a normal browser?
[13:25] Jian Alcott: yep
[13:25] Ana Vemo: /robot
[13:26] Ana Vemo: oh, that didn’t work
[13:26] Jian Alcott: you need to activate them first
[13:26] Ana Vemo: how?
[13:26] Ana Vemo: NOOOOoooOOOOoooooo…
[13:26] Jian Alcott: like that
[13:26] Jian Alcott:
[13:27] Ana Vemo: er, that’ was odd
[13:27] Jian Alcott: Caramelldansen!
[13:27] Ana Vemo: wow
[13:28] Jian Alcott: strange strange
[13:28] Jian Alcott: I’M OL’ GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEG
[13:28] Jian Alcott: ever watch mighty boosh?
[13:29] Ana Vemo: yeah, i always want to say that to greg when i see him
[13:29] Jian Alcott gave you Ol’ Greg.
[13:29] Jian Alcott: ol’ greg gestures
[13:29] Ana Vemo: scary
[13:29] Jian Alcott: my inventory scares me in general
[13:29] Ana Vemo: lol
[13:29] Ana Vemo: your tentacles aren’t how i imagined
[13:30] Ana Vemo: they’re quite floaty
[13:30] Jian Alcott: they can change, i have some slimy ones too
[13:30] Ana Vemo: mmm, lovely
[13:30] Ana Vemo: did you want to do anything else? am i keeping you?
[13:30] Ana Vemo: wow
[13:31] Ana Vemo: now that’s much more hentai
[13:31] Jian Alcott snickers
[13:31] Jian Alcott: It has a cock part too, quite creepy.
[13:31] Jian Alcott: ta-daa.
[13:31] Jian Alcott: will wonders never cease.
[13:31] Jian Alcott: I don’t know where this came from, someone gave it to me,
[13:32] Ana Vemo: i didn’t think i’d be spending my evening zooimin into a tentacly cokc
[13:32] Jian Alcott laughs
[13:32] Ana Vemo: while dressed as a fox in aschoolgirl skirt
[13:33] Jian Alcott: speaking of foxes, i have some free ones of those if you like
[13:33] Ana Vemo: if you like, can you copy them or something?
[13:33] Jian Alcott gave you pretty much all the avatars made by wingless- FULL MOD.
[13:34] Ana Vemo: kewl, will experiment later
[13:34] Jian Alcott: They’re not brilliant, but yeah
[13:36] Ana Vemo: big box
[13:37] Jian Alcott: many many odd things in it
[13:38] Jian Alcott: it’s no wonder my inventory count is at 12,595, I accumulate so much rubbish
[13:39] Ana Vemo: still going i think, tum te tum
[13:39] Jian Alcott: Haha.. oh dear
[13:41] Ana Vemo: er, is it stuck do you think?
[13:41] Jian Alcott: possibly…
[13:42] Jian Alcott: okay
[13:42] Jian Alcott: pick a colour
[13:42] Jian Alcott: any colour
[13:42] Jian Alcott: ;p
[13:42] Ana Vemo: mm, green?
[13:42] Jian Alcott gave you [boxed fox] green OPEN.

[13:43] Ana Vemo: aw that’s pretty
[13:44] Jian Alcott: Nuclear foxes? Yes ;p
[13:44] Second Life: Items coming in too fast, automatic preview disabled for 10 seconds.
[13:44] Jian Alcott: also have these green ones
[13:45] Jian Alcott: hee, nice
[13:45] Jian Alcott: legs and knees that say ‘digi’ mean backjointed
[13:45] Jian Alcott: there’s a set of digi and not digi in there
[13:45] Ana Vemo: ok
[13:45] Jian Alcott: so requires specific dragging onto you avatar
[13:46] Ana Vemo: can i edit this colour?
[13:46] Jian Alcott: i have many other colours ;p
[13:46] Jian Alcott: want them all?
[13:47] Ana Vemo: err, maybe, does my inventory get too full at any point?
[13:47] Jian Alcott: Nah
[13:47] Jian Alcott gave you [boxed fox] black OPEN.
[13:47] Jian Alcott gave you [boxed fox] gunmetal OPEN.
[13:48] Jian Alcott gave you [boxed fox] pointed white OPEN.
[13:48] Jian Alcott gave you [boxed fox] red wine OPEN.
[13:48] Jian Alcott: all the same style, just different colours
[13:48] Ana Vemo: so, why are you so obsessed with foxes?
[13:49] Jian Alcott: For having that many boxes?
[13:49] Jian Alcott: I don’t use them, I just accumulate free things. ;p
[13:49] Ana Vemo: do you have just as many for other animals?
[13:49] Jian Alcott: Yeah
[13:49] Jian Alcott: Horses, hyenas, wolves
[13:49] Ana Vemo: this is a dangerous and addictive world
[13:49] Ana Vemo: god…
[13:49] Ana Vemo: cats?
[13:50] Jian Alcott: some cats
[13:50] Jian Alcott: most are free
[13:50] Jian Alcott: one wasn’t
[13:50] Jian Alcott: but it was a charity thing, so
[13:50] Ana Vemo: and what about your poses?
[13:51] Second Life: Items coming in too fast, automatic preview disabled for 10 seconds.
[13:51] Jian Alcott: they were free on xstreet
[13:51] Ana Vemo: akk
[13:51] Jian Alcott: giant magpie death?
[13:51] Ana Vemo: er, not today thanks
[13:52] Jian Alcott: Aye aye
[13:52] Ana Vemo: it’s lovely though
[13:52] Ana Vemo: i’m very impressed byt all this
[13:52] Jian Alcott: they might have an owl or two
[13:52] Ana Vemo: oh nice
[13:52] Jian Alcott: we can look there if you like
[13:52] Jian Alcott: At some point,
[13:53] Ana Vemo: neat
[13:53] Ana Vemo: did you want to go back down? or have you had enough?
[13:54] Jian Alcott: I don’t really mind, I’m just hiding from someone who I promised I’d organise an event for ;p
[13:54] Ana Vemo: lol
[13:54] Ana Vemo: Smithers! Release the robotic richard simmons…
[13:54] Ana Vemo: AAAHHH!!!
[13:54] Ana Vemo: Smithers it’s out of control!!!
[13:54] Ana Vemo: Il take’em out sir…
[13:54] Ana Vemo: *BANG*
[13:55] Jian Alcott: Wonderful ;p
[13:55] Ana Vemo: errr
[13:55] Ana Vemo: strange
[13:55] Jian Alcott: My sheppard is (SATAN), he always forgives us no matter what. Really! (SATAN) loves us in a very special way.
[13:55] Ana Vemo: scary
[13:55] Jian Alcott snickers.
[13:55] Jian Alcott: Perhaps.
[13:56] Ana Vemo: i feel a bit like i’m in the wicker man
[13:56] Jian Alcott: Nice
[13:56] Jian Alcott: All Hail The Great Shamalama!!!
[13:57] Jian Alcott: All hail the great Shamalamadingdong!
[13:57] Ana Vemo: ook
[13:57] Jian Alcott: You know it’s friday when there are tentacle penises and talking magpies.
[13:58] Ana Vemo: yep, it’s great fun
[13:58] Ana Vemo: i’ll turn up to the meeting dresed like this
[13:58] Ana Vemo: i thought i was pushing it with neko ears
[13:58] Jian Alcott: Haha, did they mind?
[13:58] Ana Vemo: we haven’t had it yet, it’s just friends
[13:58] Jian Alcott: ahh
[13:59] Ana Vemo: but we’re all over the country now
[13:59] Ana Vemo: so did a meeting in 2nd life a few month ago
[13:59] Ana Vemo: next one due soon
[13:59] Jian Alcott: Ah, should be fun
[13:59] Ana Vemo: we ended up in a lapdancing club last time
[13:59] Ana Vemo: maybe i’ll bring them down there
[13:59] Jian Alcott: tis a fun place,
[14:00] Jian Alcott: there are a lot of peaceful places, the place that makes these birds has a sim that’s essentially mountains and forests
[14:00] Ana Vemo: are there feathery clubs too?
[14:00] Jian Alcott: it’s quite sweet
[14:00] Jian Alcott: well, featheries, scalies, furries, they’re all in the same category
[14:00] Jian Alcott: and ‘ferals’ which are essentially full animals
[14:00] Ana Vemo: uh huh, cool
[14:01] Ana Vemo: i think i might have had enough for tonight
[14:02] Jian Alcott: Fair enough, it’s all a bit mad ;p
[14:02] Ana Vemo: but you’ve been great
[14:02] Ana Vemo: thank you so much for all the stuff
[14:02] Jian Alcott: That’s alright, I have tons more if you ever want to have a go at making anything
[14:02] Ana Vemo: ok, if i had another avatar, would i be able to give it to that one? how does it work?
[14:03] Jian Alcott: items have 3 categories set to them,
[14:03] Jian Alcott: copy, modify and transfer
[14:03] Jian Alcott: as long as it doesnt’ say no transfer next to it, you can give it to anyone
[14:03] Jian Alcott: or sell it
[14:03] Jian Alcott: if you make it yourself it’s all up to you, so
[14:04] Ana Vemo: did you copy all of these?
[14:04] Ana Vemo: i havne’t taken them off you have i?
[14:04] Jian Alcott: i have copies,
[14:04] Ana Vemo: cool

[14:04] Ana Vemo: i love this sone, it’s so dumb
[14:04] Jian Alcott: It’s a bit.. rave-ish
[14:04] Jian Alcott: ;p
[14:04] Ana Vemo: i need a real dog costume by the way
[14:04] Jian Alcott: Oh?
[14:05] Ana Vemo: any hints on making ears?
[14:05] Ana Vemo: not like a full one
[14:05] Ana Vemo: just a suggestion of one
[14:05] Ana Vemo: for cheryl’s hen night
[14:05] Jian Alcott: Wire and a hairband from clare’s, or somewhere cheap
[14:05] Jian Alcott: i have some spare fabric that doesn’t smell of chocolate, boring colours though
[14:06] Ana Vemo: yeah, i was wondering about attaching them directly to my ears, have a headband though if that doesn’t work
[14:06] Jian Alcott: oh, i see
[14:07] Ana Vemo: i think i saqw something online, will try to find again, probably bookmarked in my weird/research folder
[14:07] Jian Alcott: I suppose you could kinf of make a glove for your ears
[14:07] Jian Alcott: mm,
[14:07] Jian Alcott: Or buy those novely elf ears
[14:07] Jian Alcott: and attach extra things to it
[14:07] Ana Vemo: i’m thinking card and wire, will experiment
[14:07] Ana Vemo: everyone else will be like ascot ladies day
[14:07] Ana Vemo: i have to perv it up though
[14:07] Jian Alcott: You’re slightly mad. ;p
[14:08] Ana Vemo: yes
[14:08] Ana Vemo: it is my usp
[14:08] Jian Alcott: Also, I might not be anle to help on Thurs, teaching placement, but coming back for eastside talk I think
[14:08] Ana Vemo: yeah, stu said i’d forgotten
[14:08] Ana Vemo: the eastside thing sounds interesting but i’m not an associate
[14:08] Jian Alcott: Nor me, I’m going to try and sort it out this weekend
[14:09] Ana Vemo: ok, well let us know
[14:09] Ana Vemo: i’m going to be on here a bit more now, trying to get my head round how to use it
[14:10] Jian Alcott: Ah, that’ll be fun, careful though, it’s easy to get sucked in ;p
[14:10] Ana Vemo: how did you make this by the way? the box?
[14:10] Jian Alcott: the box we’re in?
[14:10] Jian Alcott: I can give you a little building tutorial at some point if you like
[14:10] Ana Vemo: ok, thanks, have a good weekend
[14:10] Jian Alcott: You too!

NB. Times are -8 hours, PST – haven’t worked out how to change yet

I think I was searching for this joy when I fell in with a guy who bred birds, but somehow it was never the same. He treated them like products, breeding in what the market wanted and out what was awkward and individual. They were like little machines, cooped in identical white boxes, eating paint and shitting money. The shed was eerily quiet, I never heard any singing, cooing, cawing: only the regular shuffling that sounded like a factory drone. I asked him why he never let them fly around, he just looked at me with inhuman yellow eyes and I shivered. I imagined he wanted to turn me into something more regulated, something more profitable.

One night I couldn’t sleep, I kept thinking I heard a chorus from the end of the garden, and eventually could no longer dismiss it as a dream. I turned to see if my companion had heard as well, but his side of the bed was empty, and had no trace of warmth when I felt it. A spark of hope lit up in my heart and I scurried down to the outhouse.

As I approached, I realised that there was something strange about the birdsong: different phrases were being repeated and layered, until the sound seemed impossible. I’d have thought it was a recording, but there seemed to be a similar shifting of what I was seeing, an overlapping set of decoded reality fragments. The clinical bunker with its regimented zones of species was at the same time an ornate Victorian menagerie and at the same time an intimate wooden shack stinking of guano and at the same time an airy and open glass aviary.

After a few minutes of blinking and swallowing hard I got used to this strange, multiple perception and cautiously walked inside. The air was made of birds, I could barely breathe, and the twittering machine overwhelmed me as it produced a territory with song. Powdery iron finches flew past me, rusting into nothing as they migrated through time; a papery flock took their place, their wings mapping a line of flight too complex for me to understand. There were crows made of light, burning dark on the film of my retinas, floating wherever I looked: transparent but persistently present.

I started to feel some of the excitement and dissolution I remembered from when I was young and held out my arms not caring if I was taken up or torn to pieces. Soon I was covered with bizarre creatures, pecking and clawing at me until I shone like a saint. With feathers stuck to my bloodied skin, I started to be less harried, as if I was becoming one of them. I managed to move further inside and saw a lectern with a shimmering book on it. I leafed through the pages and I realised they were each made from a different bird, still moving, as if they existed in a different dimension and this was just a window into their life.

“Which one are you?” said a voice, raspy and alien. I looked up startled, and saw a shamanistic figure, an ornate dark headdress making him look like a huge raven. Only his amber eyes told me who it was. “Which bird are you?” he asked again and I recalled a refrain I’d known when I was a child.

I started to recite: “Capercaillie, Lammergeyer, Cassowary…” With each bird I named, one flew out of the skylight, calling or trilling out in rhythm with my ritualistic list. The air grew more still and empty and as my speech faltered I realised we were alone. We looked up a little sadly as all the things we’d been so sure of receded into the night.

See how they fly.

© June 2009 (originally written for Menagerie of Birds curated by Charlie Levine)